Category Archives: Blogging

Deerly, Depart!

I have always loved the neighborhood family of deer that roams all around.  Well I did.  I have never been sympathetic of neighbors that put wire and jugs of something all over their yard to prevent the family of deer from eating their plants.  We just stopped putting petunias, etc., in front.  Our fence is high in back where our garden and berries are at.  Never had a problem before.  But, SOMEONE, left the gate open last night.  So I know where the family spent the night.  Apparently they thought our yard was an open all night buffet  restaurant.  Funny, well not so funny,….interesting that yesterday I took pictures of some of our plants.  So now I can show you what those dear deer left for us.

001My Strawberries for the year are toast.  But at least I can now easily weed.  No, of course they could not be kind and help me out by eating the weeds.

002They did a number on my roses too.

003And look at my petunias.  Oh the HUMANITY!

LL says it serves me right.  I should never have posted pictures yesterday.  Well, using his logic.  I should never post period if I was going to Jinx myself.  Well I am not superstitious, but I sure am disappointed.

Karma’s a B!t(#!  I will never make fun of my neighbors jugs and wire in the front yard again. 😦

Miller’s Crossing Officially Open

LL and I took Marlin, our R.V. to our campsite a month ago.  We did not camp then.  Have not been back up until this weekend.  But we had a wonderful time.  Once we got up there and unloaded, LL needed to take the weed whacker to our campfire area and a few paths.  Then we both did a few other things.  Other than that, it was all about relaxing, taking a couple walks, and enjoying the quietness.

002It is kind of funny.  When ever I go to take a picture of Max, he raises his hand and waves.  He always does this, and I notice Kane does too.  But I think I know why…..

003Here is LL when I took a picture of him.  To be fair, I think I said, “wave like Max.”  But when I look back at other pictures, he does it too. LOL

On Sunday, June 1st, my sister Karen came up to spend the day.  She arrived with donuts and this beautiful gift..004Flowers from her garden.  My dad’s favorite roses, with a balloon that said Congratulations, you did it! Yes!  She brought that because yesterday was my big 5 year in remission anniversary.  I am considered Cured of Colon Cancer.!!  Yesterday was also my sister Kris’s birthday.  She too was out-of-town for a long weekend, so I didn’t see her.

LL is off this week.  Using up a lot of comp time from work.  So it is Monday.  Tomorrow, Tuesday, he is planning on working at my son’s house, starting on a fence.  I will visit my sis, Kathy, then meet up with him and see our grandsons. Wednesday night, we are hoping to have dinner with Lynda, LL’s friend from work and she is my friend too.  Beyond that, maybe he will get the pool washed and filled, maybe yard work, maybe another two-day camping trip.  I am letting him decide.  Really I am, I am not that controlling…..I am serious!  Don’t laugh if you know me.  But if you know me, you are laughing cuz I always have a Honey Do list. 🙂

Cancer F^@#s

Cancer Sucks! has become a common saying.  I do not use the F word, but if I did, I would replace the S with an F.  As a survivor, I know what it is like to “look over my shoulder”, “wait for the next shoe to drop” wondering if every ache, pain, bump or symptom could be cancer raising its ugly head again in my body.  So far I am doing o.k. but cancer seems to have attached itself on my family, on all sides of my husband and my family tree.

Last evening, my cousin passed away.  I have blogged about her before.  Over the last couple years, she and I have had long discussions about treatments, surgeries, worries, family, and how much we both hate cancer.  She was young, I think 37.  And she had to leave her husband and two baby’s.  I think ages 6 and 8.  I am a bit numb this morning and tears fall without any warning.

I so look forward to blogging about less serious, even silly things I used to blog about.  Since my husband and children always think I am Lucy Ball, I really never am lacking material.  Someday, maybe someday life will be a little light-hearted again.  I am praying and dreaming of that time of lightness and joy.

Today, LL has the day off and I think yard work and other chores are on the agenda.  Have a blessed day and hug your loved ones.

Bailey’s Wedding

Better late than never.  Over the next few weeks, I am going to post pictures of my daughter Bailey’s wedding.  I failed to do that at the time of her wedding.  In fact, I stopped blogging for a few months because I guess I went into heavy mourning.  When Michael died, it was 7 days before the wedding.  I had to set my anger and sadness aside to get my daughter prepared.  She was so close to Michael and did not care about her wedding that last week.  So I was determined to make it memorable for her.  So after the wedding, I allowed myself to fall apart and did not want to blog about things that seemed so unimportant while I was hurting.  But I did not want to not post about her wedding……and it was fabulous.  Here are a few pictures.  I will not post more consecutively.  I will just most more when the mood hits me.  I will start with my very favorite picture of the bride.

bailey, my favorite pictureShe was stunning

all flowersMy nieces did the flowers.  Oh my, they were beautiful.

bride and groom

 The Happy Couple.

rings This is the one picture Bailey wanted taken.  It is of her hand and ring along with mine and my mother’s.

ceremonyNot only did LL give the bride away, he also officiated.  He did a fabulous job.

weddingThe whole wedding party looked lovely.  And the setting of the ceremony could not have been more beautiful.

victoryThe groom feeling victorious.  They are really a wonderful couple.  I am so proud of both of them.  What a wonderful day it was.

Third time a Charm

I know!  Three posts in one morning……what’s up with that?  I don’t know, just feel like it. 🙂

Today I am feeling not great but better than yesterday.  Thinking I will make a large pot of white rice and eat on that for a couple of days.  Actually, my stomach (and lower) is still hurting….a lot, but I think I have a bit more energy today and I plan on taking advantage of it.

So here is my plan…..depending on how my body holds up.  Going to spend a couple of hours cleaning.  You can imagine what my house looks like.  Maybe you can not imagine…..that bad.  Then I need to go to Gervais to drop some stuff off to my sister-in-law Debby.  After that, I will either spend the afternoon at my mom’s, or if she is busy, I will take my camera to the Oregon Gardens to take some pictures of the blossoming trees.  Posting the Astoria pictures has left me in the mood to get out and be creative.

As I said before, this all depends on my body.  But I am so hoping to be out and about.  I know this resistant hermit should be used to being a shut in, but weeks of this has done two things.  Makes me a little depressed and the longer I am down and not doing much, the harder it is to resume life and become functional again.

Who knows, if I do get a couple good shots today, I might post a fourth post for today.  Can you imagine that?

What The “Fridge”

Well I don’t know why I would be different from everyone else I know who has had this bug.  I was hoping to wake up this morning feeling a bit better than yesterday.  But am thinking I feel worse.  A couple of people I know were down for a solid week and still feeling bad for a week after that.  I am on day 4 or 5.

Yesterday, after picking Mom up from salon, grocery shopping, taking her to doctors office….I came home with tons of fruits and vegetables.  Warned LL that I was not likely cooking anything with meat because the thought turns my stomach.  But before I could put away anything in the fridge, I had to clean it out.  It was bad.  Once everything was pulled out, and everything wiped up, I realized I hadn’t gone through condiments, sauces, spreads…..all those things with a long shelf life but does expire at some point.  Well my eyesight is not what it used to be.  Finding little “use by” dates hidden somewhere on the bottles took more than a little time.  I think cleaning the fridge took 1 1/2 hours.  Can you imagine?  That’s how bad it was.  But it is clean now.  That is All I got done.  I was wiped out.

So with feeling worse today, I am doubtful that what little I had planned to do will get done.  I had hope to do the freezer part of the fridge today.  It is so stuffed that I don’t even know what is in there.  Chances are, much is getting too old to use and is just using up energy.  Anyone else let their fridge get this bad?  Frankly, I would rather clean toilets, windows, and wash the car before cleaning the fridge.  Doesn’t make a lot of sense does it?

I know some who are wondering why I haven’t blogged lately.  Well my computer is still acting up.  That explains a bit of it.  Especially where pictures come in.  I have hundreds of pictures still in my camera.  I am nervous downloading them and something going wrong and losing all of them.  But I might just have to take the chance.  The computer is behaving a bit better after Rett worked on it, but something is still not right.

Another reason I have not blogged is I am working hard not going to a dark, negative place.  I always vowed to be very honest on this blog, and things are really rough for the Miller Family right now, but it is not my story to tell.  When it comes to other’s health, I respect their privacy.  But it does affect how LL and I go about our days.  What we are doing, thinking and praying for.  But I find it hard to find the balance between blogging about how our life is going, and respecting other’s struggles.  So I just plain have not been blogging.

I am sure you can read between the lines and know things are really not going well. 😦  And typically when it comes to these hard times in our life……when it rains, it pours.  So please keep LL’s brothers in your prayers.  And I will try to find the right balance so I am writing my blog a little more often.  It really is kind of therapy for me.

The Computer…..AGAIN

Not sure if this will post.  Yes I have not been on for quite a few days.  Was very busy for a few, then my computer was acting up.  Then I gave my computer to Rett so he could fix it.  So a couple days ago, I got on Bailey’s computer to write on blog.  The thing is, my user name and password for my blog automatically comes up.  So it has taken Sme a couple days to figure out how to get on it using Bailey’s computer.  I am not fully confident as I am writing this, that it will post.  More likely, with my luck, it will post on someone else’s blog.

Silverton has been a freeze zone now for 5 days.  Very weird.  You go out of town, any direction and there is no snow and ice.  But for the four previous mornings we have had snow falling down, and it never warms up enough to fully thaw out.  It is beautiful.  I have taken pictures, but I do not want to load them on Bailey’s computer.  I want them on mine.  Rett says he thinks the problem is fixed and he will bring me my computer tonight.  Tonight, the caterer is coming over so we can decide on a menu for Bailey’s wedding.  So today I am working around here.  Staying warm.  Also, my book club book is getting really good so I hope to sit for a while and read it.

Have a great day.  Tomorrow I hope to write and post on my own computer.  But here it goes, I will publish and let me apologize a head of time in case this goes on someone elses blog. 🙂

Thickening Skin

I want to thank those who contacted me on this blog with their comments and those who e-mailed me.  I appreciate your encouragement.  With a little prayer, quite a bit of consideration, and a e-mail that helped me with some perspective, I will continue blogging.  It is interesting to me how  someone who has never met me but took the time to write me had such good insight.  I think it helped that she is also a blogger who had this exact dilemma.  Her advice boiled down to this…..

“Resistant Hermit is YOUR blog.  Your goal was to be authentic and document who you are, right?” umm right.  (My original goal to blogging was that if something happened to me, my children would know exactly who I am, how I felt, and how I saw the world).  She asked “what are you afraid of?”  I think I have made it plain that I hate conflict, literally my stomach turns.  I usually avoid conflict.  The only time I don’t run from it is when I see or hear something I consider very unjust.  Usually something to do with Racism, Special Needs, women’s and minority rights, etc.  I then become a tiger.  But at least on this blog, I avoid serious subjects that might bring on conflict.  Why do I do that?  I hate conflict that I think I can avoid.  That is what it boils down to.  But her next question she asked and then  her perspective really hit home.  She asked “What’s the worse that can happen?”  And basically this was her advice.  Keep my comment settings like I have them at the moment.  So that I read them before publishing.  Publish any that is civil, even if differing, but while reading them, the moment someone turns ugly, read no further and delete.  This is what she does.  She also said to grow a spine.  Well she did not say those words, but she did say something like not having a thin skin.  She is right.  Right on all of it.

So I will start writing with my original purpose of the blog in mind.  To show my authentic self.  Warts and all.  Day to day happens still, but with a large dose of my perspective on life in general.  And I am sure making tons of mistakes a long the way.  Allowing myself to be vulnerable.  Opening myself up to criticism and learning from it.  But never allow someone to cross the line of meanness.  Over the last few years when I have posted about certain subjects, for example when I talked about pain control, I was called an addict and druggy from people crawling out of the woodwork.  Ended up removing that post.  When I have talked about being a Christian/Democrat, I was told I was not a Christian and was a baby killer.  It amazes me sometimes that I can write about a dozen posts in a row that will get no comment from anyone.  But the moment I post something of substance, I will get negative mean comments from people who say they read my blog all the time.  Well if you read it all the time, why wait to post the negative.  Would posting something encouraging kill you?  I do have a few that every so often comment encouraging, positive things.  I don’t need tons of readers or tons of comments, I just think it is sad that some will only wait to comment when they can try to tear me down.  That is not cool.

So with that said.  I will thicken my skin while moderating the comments before publishing them.  Thank you J. for your thoughtful e-mail and for the other e-mails and those who wrote me here.

To Blog or Not to Blog

I am going to take a few days off from writing.  Actually, take a few days off almost all media.  I need to decide whether to continue my blogging and if so, do I let a couple of readers (although faithful ones) dictate my content, keeping it more of a day-to-day goings on…..Or do I also write about my feelings on subjects that are important to me.  The environment, my faith, my country, my failings.  Must say, the few times I have delved into anything of importance lately, I usually get dinged from readers, known and not known.  controversy makes my stomach turn, but so does being a good little girl and keeping my mouth shut.  Neither way is good for my health or sanity.  So instead of a knee jerk reaction and shutting down this blog, which I almost did the last time I hit a sore spot with some by blogging my true thoughts, I will take the time and figure out what is the point of my blogging.  If there is no longer a point, there is no longer a blog.  If I find some real value to it for MY life or my kids and husband’s…….then I will continue but be more clear if it is a daily diary, or a documenting of my life and thoughts.

What ever I decide, I won’t just disappear.  You will either see which direction I choose by the content, or I will write a closing post if that is the direction I take.  Thanks for reading.

Added later……I have change the settings for comments.  It should be easier for anyone to post, but I will read them and approve them before publishing them.  I do not have a problem of differing opinions, I have a real problem of basic meanness which is what yesterdays post was about.  The couple comments that I woke up to and removed just proved my point of yesterday’s post.

Let Hope Rise

Today, day 12, I am so thankful for onions and garlic.  My love for them has no bounds.

As I have said on previous posts, I don’t talk much about religion and politics on this blog.  I just lack the writing skills to put all my thoughts down in a concise and clear way.  But someone has done it for me.  Check out this blog.

Let Hope Rise