Category Archives: Beau

Stupid Mom, Smart Max

I hope you are having a good morning.  I am getting a slow start this morning.  Here in Oregon, yesterday around 3:30 in the afternoon, a gunman opened fire in a mall filled with holiday shoppers and employees.  3 dead, including the shooter.  Bailey and I were glued to the news, waiting for updates.  What does it say about our society, when you finally hear that 2 are murdered and you think, oh good, it could have been so much worse?…… 😦

Max had a hard evening and couldn’t sleep last night because of it.  He always gets upset when he hears about these shootings, but I usually can calm him because I tell him that it happened a long ways away.  I tried that this time.  Thinking he was hearing Clackamas mall and would not know it was in Oregon.  Stupid Mom, Smart Max.  He looked at me like I was crazy when I said it was far away and he said, “Mom, I have been there, it is right here in Oregon.”  Well it was worth a try because I knew how upset he would be.

The plan today is for me to see how Max is doing and not leave him till his staff arrives and I update them on how he is doing.  Then if Bailey is up for it, we might go to Woodburn Outlet Mall and buy a couple of gifts that I want her opinion on.  But she was up and moving far too much yesterday afternoon and paid for it last night, so she might opt to just stay home.

Heard from LL this morning.  He will be in Pendleton for a few hours today and then make his way to Enterprise, Oregon.  I am finally getting used to him being gone for multiple nights.



I lost my boy today.  Don’t feel like writing.  Just wanted to put it on here.  Rufus and I are a bit overwhelmed.  I am taking a couple days off from here.

My Friend

Isn’t it Ironic

It’s like rain on your wedding day
It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take
Who would’ve thought… it figures

Decided I better write this in case I am in no shape to give details later.

I got Beau about 10 months before I was diagnosed.  What a Blessing he was and is.  All through my surgery recoveries, sickness from chemo, and pain from radiation.  My sweet Beau was by my side.  He has never been a cuddly sort of chap.  But when ever I have needed him, he became my teddy bear.  Even now, when I am dealing with my “issues”, he runs after me into the bathroom to make sure I am O.K.

I won’t go into yucky details, but yesterday, my niece Kelli noticed something possibly wrong with Beau.  This morning, while getting him ready to take to the groomers, I noticed something very wrong with Beau.  We got him to the vet and she found a mass on his rectum.  Ironic.  My Beau helped me through rectal cancer, and now he likely has it.  I am devastated.

Tomorrow, I am taking Beau up to Clackamas to see a specialist.  It does not look good.  I need to know we looked into all possibilities before I make any final decision.  I am hoping, oh so hoping, the surgeon will look at Beau and say, “It’s benign and an easy fix”.  But the odds are not good.  It is likely fast growing and so a decision will be made fast.  Unless there is a miracle of some sort, I will not put my Beau through a painful surgery just to give him a few more months.  I can not do this to him.  But even though this is probably the most merciful choice, I can’t help but feel that the one who gave me such devotion and is going through the same thing I did, is being abandoned by me.  But I am know the selfish part of me wants him with me and will use  logic like that as an excuse not to make the tough choice.

So tomorrow will be the day.  The day that I might be saying good-bye to the best dog friend I have ever had.

Rectal Cancer Sucks!

Week end

After giving Beau a bath, I did not want him wet on the hard wood floor so I told him to get on his bed.  Rufus was having none of that and beat Beau to it.  I think Rufus is really Gumby.

So what is the plan this weekend?  Well I got some sad news yesterday.  An old friend’s daughter has had type 1 diabetes since she was a child……Well her daughter passed away on Tuesday.  I think the rosary vigil is tonight, so I hope I will be able to go.  The funeral is Saturday.  It is at the same time as my nephew Michael’s graduation party, so I am not sure if I will try to attend both.  LL will not be attending, he is running counseling groups on Saturday so that a coworker can have some time off.

Sunday is Father’s day.  I am hoping the weather is nice enough for me to grill steaks and have dinner for LL and the kids out on the pool patio.  The pool will still be filling up and far too cold to swim.  But it will feel more like summer if we can just relax around it.  LL already received his gift from Max and I.  Actually, LL is the one who noticed an ad in the paper for a portable hammock that he can have up at Miller’s crossing.  I bought it that same day but it was really heavy and I needed him to unload it……Surprise! 🙂  Kane has been working a lot of hours so I have not seen him all week.  Not sure if he has to work Saturday and miss Michael’s party, but I am sure Kane will be here on Sunday.

Things Better Improve

Here is my new hat.  If you look at the bottom, you can see the damage on the bow that made the hat so affordable.  I need to fix it today, because I would like to wear it to Reno. 

On Monday, I took a very scruffy looking Beau to be groomed.  He even looked depressed and would not pose for his before picture….Poor little guy. 😦

And as usual, he perked up and smiled for the after picture. 

I have got little done over the last couple days.  “Issues” are really hitting me for no apparent reason.  Today, I will not eat until this evening so I can get a lot done.  Then have a huge dinner because tomorrow, I plan on just having juice.  Hopefully, I will be able with the help of an enema and immodium, be able to fly early on Friday without a problem.  Wish me luck 🙂

My Boys, My Friends

When I am having a good day, walking around, working here and there and getting lots done…..Beau and Rufus are with me every step. 

When I am having a bad day, sitting, not feeling well, or just plain sad…..Beau and Rufus are there quietly keeping me company.

Being alone a good part of every day, I could get lonely, and sometimes I do.  But I sometimes forget how important these two are to me.  LL calls them my boys.  Even on weekends when others are around, my boys follow me.  Where I am, they are.  LL also calls me “Dog whisper”.  I know them so well that when they want to get my attention by nudging me with their noses, I can tell right away if they are hungry, want petting, or want outside. 

I am very lucky that I have two devoted friends, and I think just maybe they think they are lucky to have me. 🙂