Keeping the Faith
My faith in God is constant. Even in the most trying times of my life, I have had faith in Gods ability to make any situation a blessing and usually a greater good comes out in the end. But the path I am on that leads to the greater good is sometimes unbelievably painful and confusing. While my faith in God is indeed constant, my devotion and relationship with Him ebbs and flows. Not as constant. It is hard for me to admit sometimes, but I have a habit of when things are going really bad, I seek Him and ask for help. When things are going fabulous, I am also quick to give Him credit and thanks. It is when things are steady, uneventful, and ordinary, that I find I become more distant from my Father and take Him for granted. The last few months have been like that. I admire those who are so very constant in devotion to their God, no matter the circumstances. All is not lost for me, I am a true believer that every day is new, and today I can do better than yesterday.
With all this said, life right now is changing into a difficult period. And I am yet again seeking God for answers and comfort. I belong to a huge family. On both my Dad’s and Mom’s side, I have or had lots of aunts and uncles, cousins, etc. LL does not have a huge extended family like I do, but his mom had 5 boys, and they all have many kids. So with our family comes lots of love, turmoil, worry, forgiveness, sadness, and sometimes loss.
I lost an aunt this week. Aunt Norma, my dad’s sister. She was the last of his sisters living. My dad loved all of his sisters so much, and Aunt Norma lived fairly close to us, so I have lots of memories of her. I will try to attend her funeral later this week. Along with that, I have a couple of cousins going through a very difficult time. I found out about one after I got home from vacation. My mom withheld this information from Kris and I until we got back. I have been praying for her since. And last night, I find out I have another cousin going through something equally difficult. I am stunned to say the least. I have never had any great understanding about Gods plan, free will, etc. But it seems in my family, when it rains……it pours. 😦 I have not figured yet how to best connect and offer my understanding and help to these two cousins. I do have a unique understanding of how they are feeling right now and know to give them a little time and space to process and figure out what road they will take is a good thing. But along with prayers for their well-being and their families, I am also praying that God gives me insight on how best to reach out and how best to offer any kind of help that might be needed.
I know, this post is kind of a downer. Can’t be helped. Along with all the blessings that comes with being a member of a large family, comes some deep difficult times. This is bound to be an extended difficult time and I have to be honest on this blog, if not, then what good is it to me. So many blessings to all of you today, and especially to my large, loud, loving family.