Still a Hermit and Still Resistant
What a beautiful morning outside my window. The clouds are supposed to arrive and it will not really warm up. But I will take the few hours of sun right now.
I am starting to give up on controlling my “issues” with any food restriction. Even gluten. Oh I know I can’t eat much gluten, but there are times I just think *what the hell* and eat a regular bun, and have no “issues”. Then there are times like yesterday, where I had a small amt. of dinner, with foods I know never bothered me before, and yet again, a miserable evening. Starting to think that my system just goes in waves. I will have a good week, and then all hell breaks loose and will have a bad week. Like this week.
I am happy that my issues were finished by bed time and I got a decent amount of sleep. But with the week I have had, I have open sores and my inside yet again feels like someone took a brillo pad to my colon. Last Thursday, I went all day on just juices to give my body some relief. It did help, but it is hard on my system to do that very often. So I will not eat for the most part today, but at some point have a small salad with chicken on top.
What these bad weeks do to my emotions are the most difficult part. My memory is short. When I have a good week or two run of feeling good, energy, and freedom, I start to think *I am getting this all figured out. I might start to have a life, get a part-time job, be more dependable for my family.* Then when the bad week or so comes along, my emotions take a dive as my reality comes crashing down.
I guess the name of my blog still really fits me. Resistant Hermit. Being an involuntary hermit is not the worse thing in the world. I have a pretty good life here at home. It’s the unpredictability that gets me down. 😦