Isn’t it Ironic
It’s like rain on your wedding day
It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take
Who would’ve thought… it figures
Decided I better write this in case I am in no shape to give details later.
I got Beau about 10 months before I was diagnosed. What a Blessing he was and is. All through my surgery recoveries, sickness from chemo, and pain from radiation. My sweet Beau was by my side. He has never been a cuddly sort of chap. But when ever I have needed him, he became my teddy bear. Even now, when I am dealing with my “issues”, he runs after me into the bathroom to make sure I am O.K.
I won’t go into yucky details, but yesterday, my niece Kelli noticed something possibly wrong with Beau. This morning, while getting him ready to take to the groomers, I noticed something very wrong with Beau. We got him to the vet and she found a mass on his rectum. Ironic. My Beau helped me through rectal cancer, and now he likely has it. I am devastated.
Tomorrow, I am taking Beau up to Clackamas to see a specialist. It does not look good. I need to know we looked into all possibilities before I make any final decision. I am hoping, oh so hoping, the surgeon will look at Beau and say, “It’s benign and an easy fix”. But the odds are not good. It is likely fast growing and so a decision will be made fast. Unless there is a miracle of some sort, I will not put my Beau through a painful surgery just to give him a few more months. I can not do this to him. But even though this is probably the most merciful choice, I can’t help but feel that the one who gave me such devotion and is going through the same thing I did, is being abandoned by me. But I am know the selfish part of me wants him with me and will use logic like that as an excuse not to make the tough choice.
So tomorrow will be the day. The day that I might be saying good-bye to the best dog friend I have ever had.
Rectal Cancer Sucks!