The Sweet Smells of the Past
When going about my business, a song might come on the radio and remind me of good times in high school, or when LL and I started dating. Recently, I was watching The House Without A Christmas Tree. Jason Robards stars in it, and I remember watching it ever year as a child. It conjured up memories of a simpler time in my life. But I think of all the senses, smells will take me back in time faster and sweeter. A couple of weeks ago, I got to smell Play dough. I am instantly that small child, opening up my yearly stash of play dough that was brought to me by Santa. I knew it was coming, and looked forward to having a new soft smelling can of the stuff.
The reason I bring this all up is because I really blew it a few days ago. I blew it so bad and feel sad about it. What did I do? Well, I have to start at the beginning.
Many years ago, after my dad’s passing. My mom gave me his robe. It’s just a thin, golden brown man’s robe. Nothing fancy. I keep it hanging on a hook in my closet. First mistake. I should have kept it sealed up in a plastic bag. Why? Because after 8 years, it still smelled like my dad. Post smoking, Pre sickness dad. I rarely wore the robe. Oh a few times a year, after a bath, I might snuggle in it and let my mind wander to a time where I was my dad’s baby. Hugged, loved, cherished and his favorite. Yes, Darn it Kris and Karen! I really was his favorite. And this brings me to the Second and BIG mistake. It must have fallen to the floor of my closet. And you probably guessed it by now. Got into a load of laundry, unnoticed by me. Washed and now smells like a bounce fabric softener sheet. It no longer has any smidgen of Dad’s scent. I am in tears just thinking about it now.
Well I still have the robe. I still can look at it and see him in it. Skinny legs sticking out below. But his smell is gone. Some mistakes may seem frivolous, but sometimes those make us the saddest.